


The One Where Burt Interrupts Instead of Carole [May 11, 2012]

by patchfire, raving_liberal



Series: Story of Three Boys/Rambling Wrecks AUs [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Walking In On Someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 06:06:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1116394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patchfire/pseuds/patchfire, https://archiveofourown.org/users/raving_liberal/pseuds/raving_liberal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU of the end of 3x32 "Perfect Storm".</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One Where Burt Interrupts Instead of Carole [May 11, 2012]

**Author's Note:**

> Not a new work. We're migrating the AUs away from the SOTB series and into their own, so we can get the odd tags and pairings off the SOTB series tags!

Finn’s sitting about six or seven inches away from Puck on the sofa, his feet propped on the coffee table and his palms flat against his thighs like he’s making a conscious effort to keep them there. Everything about his body language is a little too stiff and awkward. Puck sort of gets it, though, because his free hand keeps twitching and his fingers are tapping randomly. Kurt’s not moving, but his muscles are kind of tense under Puck’s arm, and Puck thinks they’d be a lot happier if Carole and Burt weren’t in the house.

They’re not very far into the movie, though, when Finn just sort of relaxes like he’s forgotten he’s supposed to be tense, and his arm goes across the back of the sofa behind Puck’s head. Not too long after that, Finn starts absently playing with the hair at the nape of Kurt’s neck, and the six or seven inches between Finn and Puck shrinks to more like one or two.

“Hi, darling,” Kurt says softly, sounding amused. He stretches his neck into Finn’s touch slightly.

“Hey,” Finn answers, his voice also low.

“I really like my seat,” Puck says, grinning.

Kurt giggles. “Mmmhmm. I would, too.”

“Everybody wants your seat, Puck,” Finn says.

“It’s a good seat.” Puck tightens his arm around Kurt and puts his other hand on Finn’s thigh lightly. Finn shifts a little and then there’s _no_ space between Finn and Puck. The movie keeps going and Puck snorts. “I’m still not sure they used enough spit.”

Finn turns and gives Puck a dubious look and shakes his head a little before turning back to the movie. He continues playing with Kurt’s hair and leans a little closer to Puck.

“I doubt they had technical advisers,” Kurt murmurs.

Finn takes a deep breath and exhales slowly before he says, his voice quiet, “You could fuck me again. If you wanted to.”

“Finn,” Kurt hisses. “You can’t— you can’t say that while our parents are upstairs!”

“Sorry,” Finn whispers. His fingers stop moving on Kurt’s neck and he sinks a little lower onto the sofa.

“I think he means you should make sure your invitations are possible soon after offering them,” Puck chuckles.

“Oh,” Finn says, and his fingers start twining in Kurt’s hair again. After a moment, he says, “I could be very quiet.”

Kurt giggles and Puck grins. “Should I be insulted?” Kurt asks. “I’d hope not.”

“I could try to be very quiet.”

Puck shakes his head and listens for a second before leaning over and pressing his lips against Finn’s. “Wouldn’t you rather be able to be loud, darling?” he whispers.

“Probably,” Finn sighs. “That was pretty quiet, though.”

“What was?” Puck asks. “This?” He kisses Finn again, longer this time.

“Mmm. Yes.” This time, Finn kisses Puck, running his tongue along Puck’s lower lip with the tiniest amount of pressure at first, but then crushing Puck’s mouth against his, tongue pushing inside. Finn’s arms wrap around Puck’s waist and he hauls Puck into his lap, hands moving frantically over Puck’s back, shoulders, and the back of his head. Puck swings one leg over Finn and settles into place.

Puck meets Finn’s tongue with his own, and then shifts, pushing down against Finn and grinning against Finn’s lips when Finn’s cock presses against him. Finn pulls Puck against him harder, arching up off the sofa a little at the same time. Puck shifts again, dragging against Finn, and moves his lips to Finn’s ear. “Finn. You fucked me earlier today.”

Finn moans quietly and murmurs, “Yeah I did.”

“You fucked me so good, darling,” Puck continues, still whispering.

“I could do it again right now,” Finn almost pants.

“Yeah, you could,” Puck agrees. “You’d like that? Pushing up inside me?”

“Yes,” Finn says. “Fuck, help me get your pants off!” He starts fumbling with Puck’s jeans.

“Living room,” Kurt hisses. “Oh, god, you two.” Puck can feel one of Kurt’s hands on his back. “We’re in the living room.” Even as he finishes speaking, though, he’s leaning forward, his other hand wrapped around the back of Finn’s head, pulling Finn down to kiss him. One of Finn’s arms moves around Kurt’s body, but the other hand stays hooked in the front of Puck’s jeans, thumb still working on the button. While Kurt is still kissing Finn, Puck pulls the neck of Finn’s T-shirt to the side, nipping at Finn’s collarbone.

The sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs cuts over the movie dialogue. “Hey, have any of you guys seen my last issue of _Popular Mechanics_?” Burt calls out. 

“Oh shit!” Finn whispers, pulling his mouth away from Kurt’s. Puck does his best to slide off Finn’s lap, landing sideways with one leg bent up and half on top of Kurt’s thighs, and Puck knows too much of his weight is still resting on Finn when Burt comes around the corner. 

“I thought it was in my bathroom, but I think I might have—” Burt freezes. He stares at the three of them, his head slowly tilting to the side as he takes in the scene. “Boys? Something’s going on here.”

Puck inexplicably has the impulse to say, “Yeah, we’re all boys,” but that probably wouldn’t help anything, so he tries to straighten his body out and sit up, not looking straight at Burt. 

“Kurt?” Burt says tentatively. “Is there maybe something we need to discuss?” His eyes flicker to Finn’s face and then over to Puck’s. “In the kitchen, maybe? You and me?”

Kurt narrows his eyes a little at the last sentence, and he shakes his head in response. “No, we’re doing well. All of us.” He elbows Puck hard enough that Puck accidentally elbows Finn, which was probably Kurt’s intention, actually. 

Finn says, “Ow,” and Burt looks at him even more strangely.

“Alright.” Burt nods his head a few times, then slowly says, “Is there maybe something we… _all_ need to discuss in the kitchen? ’Cause I think I’m looking at something that needs some kind of discussion, son.”

Kurt sighs and turns to Puck and Finn. “We might as well go ahead and give in,” he says under his breath, and Puck nods minutely as Kurt stands. He offers both of them a hand, his back to Burt. Finn gives Puck a gentle shove, and Puck stands up, taking Kurt’s offered hand before grabbing Finn’s as well. Finn stands, too, and the three of them follow Burt into the kitchen.

Burt starts to sit down at the table, then shakes his head and walks to the fridge to get a beer. He opens it, sits down at the table, takes a long drink of it, and then gestures for the three of them to sit. Kurt repositions the chairs first, sitting down in the middle of three, and Puck sits down on Kurt’s left, as Finn sits down on Kurt’s right.

“So, I’ll just tell you what, kid,” Burt begins. “I’m not exactly sure what to say, but I feel like I’m probably supposed to say something.” He sighs and takes another sip of his beer. “You mind explaining what, exactly, it is that I walked in on?”

“We aren’t doing anything wrong,” Kurt says calmly. “It’s all perfectly legal and we’re all consenting adults.” He straightens and puts his shoulders back. “There’s not precisely any vocabulary for it, however.”

“Adults?” Burt repeats, like that’s the only word he was able to pick out of what Kurt said. “Kurt, you’re eighteen! You’re all eighteen!” He pauses momentarily and looks uncomfortable. “Is this a… a sex thing?”

“Oh, god, Dad.” Kurt exhales loudly and shakes his head. “Yes, we’re all rabid sex addicts. _No_.” He pauses. “And yes, eighteen is legal adulthood.”

“Legally maybe, but…” Burt sighs loudly. “Okay, not a sex thing.” He rubs one hand across his face and while his hand is still over his eyes, he mumbles, “It kinda looked like a sex thing.”

Kurt purses his lips. “Sexual activities can be involved in a situation without it being a sex thing.”

Burt’s other hand joins the first one on his face. “Oh my god,” he mutters to himself. “They don’t make pamphlets for this. Kurt, Finn is your stepbrother! Finn… are you even gay?”

“Uh,” Finn says, looking at Kurt and then across Kurt to Puck, a somewhat frantic look in his eyes. “I don’t think so? I mean, I haven’t really given it too much thought or—”

“You don’t have to answer that, Finn,” Kurt says softly, then he looks back at Burt, his tone harder again. “And Dad, there is a spectrum of sexuality. Though the question was still not appropriate.”

“Flying without a map here, son!” Burt says, throwing his hands into the air. “And he’s still your stepbrother, spectrum or no spectrum, and _oh my god_ , Carole is going to flip.”

“We are not biologically related. We’ve known each other longer than we’ve been stepbrothers. That’s hardly the point.”

“It’ll be the point when Carole finds out,” Burt says. “What if she had been the one who walked in on you three tonight? You can’t just be doing stuff to upset her like that! She’s in a delicate way!”

“Oh, because that’s _why_ we’re doing it?” Kurt asks him. “And pregnancy is supposed to be a completely natural process or whatever. That’s what Carole keeps telling you.”

“I don’t know why you’re doing it! Kurt, you’ve got a boyfriend! Puck, again, the boyfriend thing! And Finn,” Burt says. “They’re _guys_!”

“I noticed,” Finn says.

Puck narrows his eyes. “Wait a second. The problem for us is that we’re already together, but the problem for Finn is that… we’re not female.”

Burt ignores Puck and continues talking to Kurt. “How many boyfriends does somebody need? Is Finn your boyfriend now, too?”

“I’m collecting them,” Kurt says blandly. “While we’re in New York, the three of us thought we’d approach Artie.”

“Mike,” Finn interjects. “Tina wouldn’t get mad.”

“Oh my god,” Burt says again. “I’m having a real hard time making this make any sense. I’ve got like three or four different things here that aren’t making sense to me.”

“Well, why don’t you stay with one at a time,” Kurt suggests, and his hand wraps around Puck’s, squeezing it. When Puck looks over, Kurt’s other hand is in Finn’s.

“Alright,” Burt says. “So, I’m not allowed to ask Finn if he’s gay, right?”

“No, Dad.”

“Finn, do you _want_ to discuss that topic?” Burt asks Finn.

Finn looks over at Kurt, and Puck can see Kurt squeeze Finn’s hand. “It’s up to you, darling,” Kurt says quietly.

“Nope,” Finn says to Burt. “I’m good.”

“Okay. So, next question. Are the three of you… involved? In some kind of relationship?” Burt asks, directing this question to Kurt.

“Yes.”

“Alright. And it’s all three of you… and all three of you?” Burt waves his hand in their direction, like they wouldn’t otherwise understand what ‘all three of you’ means.

“All three of us,” Kurt agrees.

“And everybody’s okay with this?”

“Again, yes.”

“Okay,” Burt says. “Has this been going on for a long time?”

Kurt pauses for a moment before he answers, and Puck can figure what’s running through his mind. It hasn’t, but there was February, and it all feels like a part of one larger piece. “Parts of it,” Kurt finally answers.

“That’s… not really an answer, but okay, we’ll just move on,” Burt says. “One more question. Who’s telling Carole?”

“Nobody!” Finn blurts out. 

“Frankly, we’re not under any obligation to tell anyone. Perhaps we should have been more discreet, yes, given both of you were upstairs, but it’s not a requirement that we share this,” Kurt says, raising both eyebrows at Burt.

“You can’t expect me to keep something like this a sec—”

“It’s not your story to tell, Dad.”

“She’s my wife. She’s Finn’s mom.”

“I don’t want to tell her!” Finn insists. “Seriously. Not. Maybe when I’m in Wisconsin, I’ll email her or something. We’ll talk about it then.”

“Finn is under no obligation to tell her, either,” Kurt points out. 

Burt drops his head back into his head. “I need another beer. In fact, I’m gonna drink another beer, and I’m gonna go back upstairs and pretend this conversation never happened for at least the next two days. Maybe after I process it a little better, we’ll talk some more, alright?”

“Very well. We’ll check with you after we’re back from New York.”

“Sure, that sounds good,” Burt says. He stands up, drops his beer bottle into the recycling bin, and gets another beer out of the fridge. “But guys? Not in the living room.” With that, he turns and walks out of the kitchen, and they can hear him slowly walking up the stairs and then shutting his bedroom door behind him.

“Well.” Puck stands up and gets out three more beers, opening them quickly. “That went well!”


End file.
